Wednesday, February 25, 2009

You've Showed Me The True Meaning Of Love, Kor.

It was February 26th.
If you wanna know what's true love, you'd spend some time reading of how awesome my kor kor is and probably you'd appreciate your siblings even more.Just Kor Kor and I.
You mean the world to me and i just want to tell the world how much you've loved me through my whole life cos you really did show me what's the true meaning of love.

I decided to skip school just to spend time with my Kor Kor, Isaac because he was leaving to Korea to further his studies.

The day started with Kor waking me up cos I was still sleeping like a pig. I watched him play LocoRoco on PSP the night before that. And that was the last night I'm gonna be sleeping with him in the same room till probably 10 months later.

We headed to SS3/33 to get some indian food cos he wanted to eat something malaysian. He'll be eating KimChi for this whole year and I think it'll be quite suffering for him. Went to get all the stuff he needed as he's a last minute person. We got this gene from our Mommy, the last minute genes. Ate at Pizza Hut with Dad, Kor and Ah Soon jiu jiu for lunch.

Just rocking with my Old Spice.... and my Kor Kor got his first gold credit card!
It took my DADDY 50years to look this good.
Went to Paris for dinner. Mommy treated all of Kor's friends.Headed home and took a family picture. I was already tearing on the way home from dinner so my eyes was a tad bit weird.
Went to KLIA with Lemuel, Zhiyu and Andrea. I was crying all the way from my house till there. I only stopped when Andrea talked to me and the songs on radio started to sink into me. Thanks Dreaa. Lem overshot a turning and that almost made me cry again cos i thought i couldn't say goodbye to Kor anymore. But thank God he didn't leave yet. US at KFC. My Beloved Family. I really love them with all my life. <333>
Kor, and his entourage. (: The Handsome-st man on earth, Daddy. (: The prettiest woman on earth, Mommy. (:

Just Us.Kor's last smile before he goes down the escalator.Kor's entourage walking together to see him for the last time. Farewell Kor Kor. ): It was just that day, I opened the cupboard and i saw the cupboard was half empty. The feeling finally sinked into me. I started thinking of the days when you'll not be around. I broke down and cried. You were out with Keong that day and i was all alone in the room. Then i took a blue cardboard cos it was our favourite colour since we were young and started cutting out into a shape of a rectangle. I didn't even think of making it beautiful, all i wanted is too write down my feelings, through the times we've been through since i was born. I took a pen, and i started crying again. During that moment, i thought bout all the good memories we've had through this lifetime.
Kor, you know you're the closest person i have in this world. Honestly, i can even say that you're closer to me than mommy and daddy cos you know more things of me than them. I've told you everything in my life and you'll always be there for me no matter what happens. You've never failed to be here for me as far as i'm concerned. I appreciate so much that even words can't describe my feelings. These tears of joy are rolling down my cheeks even right now as i type.
I'm just so happy that God has given you an opporturnity to be successful in life by giving you a full scholarship to Korea. But, I'm really sad right now cos you're half way to Korea already and I'm crying here. I'm sorry but i really hope i get used to this feeling of being alone in the house without a Kor kor to call even though i call you Isaac most of the time. During our childhood days, I'll cling on to you like a leech and follow wherever you go and whatever you do. Even till now, when mommy ask if i wanna follow her and daddy out i'll ask, "Is Kor kor going? If he's not then i don't wanna go. " Remember when we used to play Sega and Micro-Genius, we had so much fun. I would stare at you playing Final Fantasy on PS1 the whole day and i enjoyed it somehow. Thanks for playing games with me when we were younger and even till now you still play games with me like Dota. When we're in this computer room playing together, i would shout at you, "NOOB NOOB!" and both of us will be screaming our lungs out and when we kill someone we would just congratulate each other.
Like i said in the letter, mommy and daddy weren't rich when both of us were younger. They really worked hard just to raise both of us up. We've been sleeping together in the same room for the rest of our life and the longest time you weren't in the room with me is during your mission trip for 2 weeks. When we were younger, we all slept together in the same bed, the 4 of us together just in a queen sized bed at the room next to the kitchen in our house at ss2. I felt fortunate enough even though we weren't rich cos i felt the love of our family just being together. One day, mommy and daddy got us a double decker bed where we had tons of fun. Both of us would think that we're superman and put the blanket behind our backs as our cape and jump down from the highest level of the double decker bed. You were the one sleeping on top definitely. Even till now, you're still the one sleeping on top. I won't sleep on top even though you're in Korea. I would still think that you're still sleeping in the same room with me till i get used to the feeling that you're in Korea already, but i wouldn't sleep on your bed still cos i've been to used to sleeping at the bottom since we were born. During one day when there was really loud thunder and lightning, i was screaming cos i was scared of it and you were there together with me. (:
When i was standard 2, i had my bike accident and you were there during the incident too. Rauf said he saw everything. You said to me, " Ivan! you teeth all drop already!" cos i was bleeding like mad till my whole uniform was also covered with blood. We had alot of fun moment just having our daily playtime in the park. Didn't imagine that we still contact the childhood friend of ours that we've played together since we were young.
During our primary school days, i would do whatever you do. Lots of mommy's friends said that both of us are twins. Maybe it's because of us doing almost everything together and spending time with each other everyday that makes us look alike. We would play football together at the tennis court behind our house. We used to be almost the same weight then i remembered you fell sick and you lost almost 10kg, no joke. That was when you became so thin like a stick. But i can see that you's getting back all the fats that you've lost 10years ago. haha! I just love spending time with you, Kor. Kay lah i look pretty darn fat okay. Don't laugh.
As we grew older, you would bring me out with your friends. I know most of my friends who has older siblings wouldnt follow them out cos their older siblings wouldn't want them when they're hanging out with their friends. But you're different. You bring me out most of the times even though i don't know any of your friends. You would fetch me from tuition, bring me out to play foosball till midnight and eat supper for almost everyday. Who's gonna do these things with me when you's not around? I guess i've gotta be independent and not rely on you so much. You've taught me the most things in my life and i appreciate you every single bit. I'm sorry cos I've taken you for granted so many times cos in my mindset you're the older brother and i can do whatever i like to you.
I've read the letter you wrote to me. It's the most meaningful thing someone that someone has wrote to me. You know what's happening in my life and i really do hope that this simple letter would change my life. I wanna change for God, i don't wanna dissapoint Him anymore. I've been a hypocrite through all these years, wearing a mask wherever I am. Thanks for mustering the courage to write those things to me and telling me that you're going through with me this together. We'll see a revival in our life. Thanks, Kor.

Look at your Jakun moments.
And right, you really like to sleep. with my adidas shorts on your face to cover the sun.
... then you'd wake up to see a motorbike.
... And you'd sleep again.
And know that Daddy is really proud of you cos he didn't have the chance to go overseas even though he had a scholarship because Ah Gong didn't have enough money to pay for his expenses. Remember when daddy said that it made Ah Gong cried so bad. You've definitely made Ah Gong and Daddy proud. I'm sure that Daddy is thanking God even in his sleep cos you've made Daddy's dream come true that is for his sons to go overseas to study even though non of us expected that you'd be going anytime soon.
Sophia, I've never seen my kor love someone so much in his whole life like how he has loved you. He even spent his few last weeks here in Malaysia with you instead of me. He apologised to me cos of that just before the night he left. I know things between both of you are not going too smooth but just surrender this to God aight?LikXiang, thanks for being there for my kor kor when he needed someone most during his really emo days.There's no one anymore to have the daily night talks that we have that can last for few hours sometimes. That's the saddest thing and i'm gonna miss it really bad. When i was on my bed just now and i looked up to your bed and called, " Kor kor" , you weren't there. Please pray that i'll get used to it. Dang it, you got me crying again. I'm such a sensitive kid.And both of us will see revival in our life. Thanks daddy for getting me and kor the same wallet although it's a lil lalafied.
It's 5am already and i've gotta go to school at 7am with two tuitions during afternoon and night. I've never missed someone and cried for someone so badly before. Kor, I miss you. God bless and continue to rock on for our BIG DADDY in heaven and never let the fire and passion for Jesus in youe heart fade away. You've touched many lives especially by helping people fixing their computers and i really looked up to you. I've been looking up to you since i was young. And what you said in the letter, I'll keep it in my heart. I'll control my anger, kor. I know I'm really hot tempered. Sorry. Remember to keep me in your prayers and continue to be hungry for Jesus kay? I love you, kor kor.

... and I'll be waiting for you to come back on December 22nd.

*vanwasereandheappreciateshiskorkoralot. thanks for everything. (:

1 comment:

Sam said...

You're right. i do appreciate my sisters more now :)