Monday, June 6, 2011

Life with Accutane. Hormone flying.

" I am Buzz Lightyear. I come in peace. " *piu piu piu*

What up homies and homers. Why the random post you wonder. Just to write my thoughts out i suppose.

Well, I've been getting tons of people asking me bout what happened to the sudden outburst on my face. So, this is the story of my life, with Roaccutane.

I'll let my Terminator Bearbrick introduce to my not so friendly friend, ROACCUTANE. I'm on Accutane now, again after 5 years due to my active oil glands and stuff. What this drug does, it reduces oil glands in every single part of my body and my face, like crazy, and when I say crazy, it's really insanely crazy.

I first took this pill when I was 13years old because I had terrible skin due to my acne. It's not because I didn't take good care of my skin, it's something to do with my hormones and oil glands. My skin doc said I had really oily skin due to my body producing overdose of hormones, I could literally fry an egg on my face with the amount of oil even after i wash my face when i was younger, no joke. Everyone has hormone jumping, my hormone was flying, sky high, like booms. and I guess this is the reason why I like so many girls, haha no i kid, i only like one girl. Anyway, I took it for a year and my oil glands were controlled.

BUT, the sucky thing bout this pill is the process of it. TONS OF SIDE EFFECTS. I remember my skin doctor said that she could list at least a thousand if she were to write a list bout it. one of it is labelled at the back of the cover my pills -

I can't get pregnant while taking this pill because a defect child would be born. So, I guess i'll have to stay away from getting pregnant for the moment. yeah.

few of the significant ones that were listed are - Dry skin, dry mouth, dry eyes, suicide, depression etc etc.

Dry skin- DRY LIKE NO ONE'S BUSINESS. This is something that I struggle with the most while taking it cos my skin literally cracks and bleed because of the dryness of my skin. one of the worse part if the nose area cos I feel like my nose is gonna drop off like Michael Jackson's due to the dryness of it. So thank God for moisturisers and lip balm !

Suicide and depression- I think i read it somewhere that there were bout 250 cases worldwide of people commiting suicide while taking this pill, screws up your hormones I guess. There was a guy who actually stole a plane from an airport and crash it somewhere and the doc said it's due to this pill.

As for me, I guess I'm emotionally stable and it doesn't screw up my thinking. I guess why people get into depression is also due to the side effects. When you're on it, Accutane dries your skin up like crazy, and you'll have like a skin that's 100 times worse than before (the guy below explains all bout it, his skin wasn't that bad before) before it heals completely. Also, I guess people get depressed cos it screws your skin up BADLY before it heals completely before it heals so you just have to be patient with it through the process.

I'm in that phase now, of my skin getting from just 10 zits to like a hundred zits and it's really insanely dry. Oh the reason why i took it's because my oil glands' really active again after 5years so i hope this is the last time round. I dreaded taking this pill and I took one week of thinking before taking it again cos of the amount of side effects and the outburst that I'll have while taking this pill, somehow you just lose motivation to go thru your day. I was pretty insecure bout it when I was 13 years old cos of the massive outbreak, I tend to avoid people whom I think may judge me. But I guess I'm over that stage now.

Even though my skin's gonna be terrible for like another 3-4 months or so before it heals completely, I've learnt that I don't have to seek approval from people around me. I have my security in Jesus and that's what matters, to me at least. I may not know why God created acne in the first place, but I know that I've been relying on Him to go through my day, just thanking Him even for my existence in this life. Though it may be sucky at times, but once again I thank God every single morning that I can wake up and tell Him,
Psalm 139 : 13-14,
"For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made ;
Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. "

Well yeah it gets a tad bit annoying at times when I explain to people that I'm taking Accutane and my skin will go from bad to horrible during the period while I'm taking it before it starts clearing up. People go like are you sure that these stuff works and all and they're like yada this and that. And for those people who understand when you ask and I tell you all bout it and you kinda sorta maybe get it, I really appreciate it much cos it does make a significant difference to my day. Would really appreciate prayers that it'll heal faster as I really wanna go for a mission trip after exams, if my skin's too dry I doubt i'll be able to go. Sucks to be me. booo.


As most of all of you know, I'm sitting for my finals for A-levels. FEW MORE DAYS OF COLLEGE AND I'M GRADUATING ! One word for Edexcel, I detest you, very much. No matter how hard I've tried to like you, it's just hard. haha no but seriously, exams this term's really tough especially further maths. It's okay I can bare with it with God's help definitely.

My classic "messy room during exam period" photo.

It's cleaner compared to SPM time cos I studied way more back then (you can look at my old pictures). I'm just distracted by tons of things now. Pretty worried myself. JUNE 27th, I'm gonna run in the forest like a free man cos FREEEEEEDOMMMMMM FOR ME !

Though, I really don't know what I'm gonna do after my college life and whatever the future holds, I still believe that God will provide for every need and He has it all planned out- so if I don't get to go into Uni yet, I'll prolly take a gap year to learn some other stuff other than my school books.

A random photo of, MICROGENIUS. a classic game device. Bro found it when he was cleaning up the room.
This machine made part of who I am today. I played Supermario and Tetris and tons of other games all day long when I was younger. Supermario's still definitely part of me now. love that silly guy.

It was NIGAHIGA's birthday yesterday. I've been following and watching every single video of his since my friend told me bout him when i was like 15 or 16. He's hilarious, and KEVJUMBA too definitely. Been singing this song all day long.

Time to sleep and do some further maths for the day. Chem 6 paper sucked.

*vanwasere. thankingJesusforstrengthandcourageeachday. (: