Monday, September 5, 2011


5th of September 2011.

Gap year officially starts today. I really don't know what my future holds, but I know who holds my future.

Insanity Fit Test Day 1. Can I make it to the 60th day ?

钱不是问题, 开心就好 : money is definitely not everything in life.

I'm excited of what God is gonna reveal to me this year. Dear Lord, thank you for giving me this life and this season of my life just to seek you and understand you. Whatever the outcome is, be it good or bad, You are in control.

Faith: It is the confident assurance in the character and nature of God; a strong or unshakeable belief in something, without proof or evidence.

Faith is what pleases God. “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” Hebrews 11:6. I learned that my faith is not about all of my beliefs and convictions. I have a ton of those, but those things are not what pleases God. What pleases God is when I put every ounce of my trust, my faith in Him even when I do not know the outcome, when I do not understand and when I may not get my way.

Read more:

*vanwasere. becauseYouarethetrueGod. (:

Monday, August 1, 2011

10 Reasons to Believe in a God Who Allows Sufferings.

Natural disasters. Terrorist acts. Injustice. Incurable disease. All these experiences point to suffering, and can cause people to question the love and goodness of a God who would let such things occur. In this publication, we seek to consider who God is, and why we can trust Him even when life hurts—and we don’t know why.

Suffering Comes With The Freedom To Choose

Loving parents long to protect their children from unnecessary pain. But wise parents know the danger of over-protection. They know that the freedom to choose is at the heart of what it means to be human, and that a world without choice would be worse than a world without pain. Worse yet would be a world populated by people who could make wrong choices without feeling any pain. No one is more dangerous than the liar, thief, or killer who doesn’t feel the harm he is doing to himself and to others (Genesis 2:15-17).

Pain Can Warn Us Of Danger

We hate pain, especially in those we love. Yet without discomfort, the sick wouldn’t go to a doctor. Worn-out bodies would get no rest. Criminals wouldn’t fear the law. Children would laugh at correction. Without pangs of conscience, the daily dissatisfaction of boredom, or the empty longing for significance, people who are made to find satisfaction in an eternal Father would settle for far less. The example of Solomon, lured by pleasure and taught by his pain, shows us that even the wisest among us tend to drift from good and from God until arrested by the resulting pain of their own shortsighted choices (Ecclesiastes 1-12; Psalms 78:34-35; Romans 3:10-18).

Suffering Reveals What Is In Our Hearts

Suffering often occurs at the hand of others. But it has a way of revealing what is in our own hearts. Capacities for love, mercy, anger, envy, and pride can lie dormant until awakened by circumstances. Strength and weakness of heart is found not when everything is going our way but when flames of suffering and temptation test the mettle of our character. As gold and silver are refined by fire, and as coal needs time and pressure to become a diamond, the human heart is revealed and developed by enduring the pressure and heat of time and circumstance. Strength of character is shown not when all is well with our world but in the presence of human pain and suffering (Job 42:1-17; Romans 5:3-5; James 1:2-5; 1 Peter 1:6-8).

Suffering Takes Us To The Edge Of Eternity

If death is the end of everything, then a life filled with suffering isn’t fair. But if the end of this life brings us to the threshold of eternity, then the most fortunate people in the universe are those who discover, through suffering, that this life is not all we have to live for. Those who find themselves and their eternal God through suffering have not wasted their pain. They have let their poverty, grief, and hunger drive them to the Lord of eternity. They are the ones who will discover to their own unending joy why Jesus said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:1-12; Romans 8:18-19).

Pain Loosens Our Grip On This Life

In time, our work and our opinions are sought less and less. Our bodies become increasingly worse for the wear. Gradually they succumb to inevitable obsolescence. Joints stiffen and ache. Eyes grow dim. Digestion slows. Sleep becomes difficult. Problems loom larger and larger while options narrow. Yet, if death is not the end but the threshold of a new day, then the curse of old age is also a blessing. Each new pain makes this world less inviting and the next life more appealing. In its own way, pain paves the way for a graceful departure ( Ecclesiastes 12:1-14).

Suffering Gives Opportunity To Trust God

The most famous sufferer of all time was a man named Job. According to the Bible, Job lost his family to “a mighty wind,” his wealth to war and fire, and his health to painful boils. Through it all, God never told Job why it was happening. As Job endured the accusations of his friends, heaven remained silent. When God finally did speak, He did not reveal that His archenemy Satan had challenged Job’s motives for serving God. Neither did the Lord apologize for allowing Satan to test Job’s devotion to God. Instead, God talked about mountain goats giving birth, young lions on the hunt, and ravens in the nest. He cited the behavior of the ostrich, the strength of the ox, and the stride of the horse. He cited the wonders of the heavens, the marvels of the sea, and the cycle of the seasons. Job was left to conclude that if God had the power and wisdom to create this physical universe, there was reason to trust that same God in times of suffering (Job 1-42).

God Suffers With Us In Our Suffering

No one has suffered more than our Father in heaven. No one has paid more dearly for the allowance of sin into the world. No one has so continuously grieved over the pain of a race gone bad. No one has suffered like the One who paid for our sin in the crucified body of His own Son. No one has suffered more than the One who, when He stretched out His arms and died, showed us how much He loved us. It is this God who, in drawing us to Himself, asks us to trust Him when we are suffering and when our own loved ones cry out in our presence ( 1 Peter 2:21; 3:18; 4:1 ).

God’s Comfort Is Greater Than Our Suffering

The apostle Paul pleaded with the Lord to take away an unidentified source of suffering. But the Lord declined saying, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” “Therefore,” said Paul, “most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). Paul learned that he would rather be with Christ in suffering than without Christ in good health and pleasant circumstances.

In Times Of Crisis, We Find One Another

No one would choose pain and suffering. But when there is no choice, there remains some consolation. Natural disasters and times of crisis have a way of bringing us together. Hurricanes, fires, earthquakes, riots, illnesses, and accidents all have a way of bringing us to our senses. Suddenly we remember our own mortality and that people are more important than things. We remember that we do need one another and that, above all, we need God. Each time we discover God’s comfort in our own suffering, our capacity to help others is increased. This is what the apostle Paul had in mind when he wrote, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” ( 2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

God Can Turn Suffering Around For Our Good

This truth is best seen in the many examples of the Bible. Through Job’s suffering we see a man who not only came to a deeper understanding of God but who also became a source of encouragement for people in every generation to follow. Through the rejection, betrayal, enslavement, and wrongful imprisonment of a man named Joseph, we see someone who eventually was able to say to those who had hurt him, “You meant evil against me; but God meant it for good” ( Genesis 50:20). When everything in us screams at the heavens for allowing suffering, we have reason to look at the eternal outcome and joy of Jesus who in His own suffering on an executioner’s cross cried, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” ( Matthew 27:46)

You’re Not Alone

You’re Not Alone

You’re not alone if you find yourself honestly unconvinced about whether Christ rose from the dead. But keep in mind that Jesus promised God’s help to those who want to be right with God. He said, “If anyone chooses to do God’s will, he will find out whether My teaching comes from God or whether I speak on My own” (John 7:17 NIV).

If you do see the reasonableness of the resurrection, keep in mind that the Bible says Christ died to pay the price for our sins, and those who believe in their heart that God has raised Him from the dead will be saved (Romans 10:9-10). The salvation Christ offers is not a reward for effort, but a gift to all who in light of the evidence put their trust in Him.

taken from

*vanwasere. throughpainandsufferings, Hewillsustainusall. (:

Friday, July 8, 2011


Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

vanwasere. imaynotknowwhy,butiknowwho'sincontrol. (:

Monday, June 6, 2011

Life with Accutane. Hormone flying.

" I am Buzz Lightyear. I come in peace. " *piu piu piu*

What up homies and homers. Why the random post you wonder. Just to write my thoughts out i suppose.

Well, I've been getting tons of people asking me bout what happened to the sudden outburst on my face. So, this is the story of my life, with Roaccutane.

I'll let my Terminator Bearbrick introduce to my not so friendly friend, ROACCUTANE. I'm on Accutane now, again after 5 years due to my active oil glands and stuff. What this drug does, it reduces oil glands in every single part of my body and my face, like crazy, and when I say crazy, it's really insanely crazy.

I first took this pill when I was 13years old because I had terrible skin due to my acne. It's not because I didn't take good care of my skin, it's something to do with my hormones and oil glands. My skin doc said I had really oily skin due to my body producing overdose of hormones, I could literally fry an egg on my face with the amount of oil even after i wash my face when i was younger, no joke. Everyone has hormone jumping, my hormone was flying, sky high, like booms. and I guess this is the reason why I like so many girls, haha no i kid, i only like one girl. Anyway, I took it for a year and my oil glands were controlled.

BUT, the sucky thing bout this pill is the process of it. TONS OF SIDE EFFECTS. I remember my skin doctor said that she could list at least a thousand if she were to write a list bout it. one of it is labelled at the back of the cover my pills -

I can't get pregnant while taking this pill because a defect child would be born. So, I guess i'll have to stay away from getting pregnant for the moment. yeah.

few of the significant ones that were listed are - Dry skin, dry mouth, dry eyes, suicide, depression etc etc.

Dry skin- DRY LIKE NO ONE'S BUSINESS. This is something that I struggle with the most while taking it cos my skin literally cracks and bleed because of the dryness of my skin. one of the worse part if the nose area cos I feel like my nose is gonna drop off like Michael Jackson's due to the dryness of it. So thank God for moisturisers and lip balm !

Suicide and depression- I think i read it somewhere that there were bout 250 cases worldwide of people commiting suicide while taking this pill, screws up your hormones I guess. There was a guy who actually stole a plane from an airport and crash it somewhere and the doc said it's due to this pill.

As for me, I guess I'm emotionally stable and it doesn't screw up my thinking. I guess why people get into depression is also due to the side effects. When you're on it, Accutane dries your skin up like crazy, and you'll have like a skin that's 100 times worse than before (the guy below explains all bout it, his skin wasn't that bad before) before it heals completely. Also, I guess people get depressed cos it screws your skin up BADLY before it heals completely before it heals so you just have to be patient with it through the process.

I'm in that phase now, of my skin getting from just 10 zits to like a hundred zits and it's really insanely dry. Oh the reason why i took it's because my oil glands' really active again after 5years so i hope this is the last time round. I dreaded taking this pill and I took one week of thinking before taking it again cos of the amount of side effects and the outburst that I'll have while taking this pill, somehow you just lose motivation to go thru your day. I was pretty insecure bout it when I was 13 years old cos of the massive outbreak, I tend to avoid people whom I think may judge me. But I guess I'm over that stage now.

Even though my skin's gonna be terrible for like another 3-4 months or so before it heals completely, I've learnt that I don't have to seek approval from people around me. I have my security in Jesus and that's what matters, to me at least. I may not know why God created acne in the first place, but I know that I've been relying on Him to go through my day, just thanking Him even for my existence in this life. Though it may be sucky at times, but once again I thank God every single morning that I can wake up and tell Him,
Psalm 139 : 13-14,
"For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made ;
Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. "

Well yeah it gets a tad bit annoying at times when I explain to people that I'm taking Accutane and my skin will go from bad to horrible during the period while I'm taking it before it starts clearing up. People go like are you sure that these stuff works and all and they're like yada this and that. And for those people who understand when you ask and I tell you all bout it and you kinda sorta maybe get it, I really appreciate it much cos it does make a significant difference to my day. Would really appreciate prayers that it'll heal faster as I really wanna go for a mission trip after exams, if my skin's too dry I doubt i'll be able to go. Sucks to be me. booo.


As most of all of you know, I'm sitting for my finals for A-levels. FEW MORE DAYS OF COLLEGE AND I'M GRADUATING ! One word for Edexcel, I detest you, very much. No matter how hard I've tried to like you, it's just hard. haha no but seriously, exams this term's really tough especially further maths. It's okay I can bare with it with God's help definitely.

My classic "messy room during exam period" photo.

It's cleaner compared to SPM time cos I studied way more back then (you can look at my old pictures). I'm just distracted by tons of things now. Pretty worried myself. JUNE 27th, I'm gonna run in the forest like a free man cos FREEEEEEDOMMMMMM FOR ME !

Though, I really don't know what I'm gonna do after my college life and whatever the future holds, I still believe that God will provide for every need and He has it all planned out- so if I don't get to go into Uni yet, I'll prolly take a gap year to learn some other stuff other than my school books.

A random photo of, MICROGENIUS. a classic game device. Bro found it when he was cleaning up the room.
This machine made part of who I am today. I played Supermario and Tetris and tons of other games all day long when I was younger. Supermario's still definitely part of me now. love that silly guy.

It was NIGAHIGA's birthday yesterday. I've been following and watching every single video of his since my friend told me bout him when i was like 15 or 16. He's hilarious, and KEVJUMBA too definitely. Been singing this song all day long.

Time to sleep and do some further maths for the day. Chem 6 paper sucked.

*vanwasere. thankingJesusforstrengthandcourageeachday. (:

Monday, January 24, 2011

here we go again.

and i'm still alive. to start blogging again ? that is the question.

vanwasere. (: